Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Working the Core Muscles . . . and then some.


Remember this thing?  


Well, I'm taking full advantage of it here when I discuss hockey.  It relates.  I promise.


Another consequence of my decision to get back into hockey after a twelve year layoff, was "drop in".


For the uninitiated, drop in hockey is basically a semi-organized pick-up hockey game during which semi-fit and hyper-competitive everyday folks can legally beat each other up for the low low sum of twelve bucks a person. You know, for practice.  It's also a great excuse to use a bunch of hyphens in one sentence.

Apparently it's also a great excuse to comment on the dude with the "classic" equipment.

Actual quotes:

"Holy crap dude, that stick is classic!  They haven't made those in years!"

"Dude, those wheels are sooo ancient.  I'm impressed they've held up this long."

I absorbed the compliments while simultaneously attempting to parry the backhand that came along with it.  As the exercise in verbal ninjitsu continued, the following things occurred to me inside my second-hand brainbucket I called a helmet:


  1. I'm not 20 anymore.  Well done Perry Mason.  You finally discovered that your body is no longer a seemingly bottomless well of energy, capable of turning cheeseburgers and Heineken into rocket fuel.  You weren't even limber and incredibly athletic then, what in the hell made you think you could jump back into this?
  2. My brain knows where to go, but my legs are having a hard time getting me there.  Ain't it funny how your brain gets quicker and your feet feel like they're encased in lead-lined concrete?  You should have known that you were going to have those "Bambi on ice" moments dude.
  3. I need to give my legs a break on game-day.  Wow, how absolutely Aristotelian.  What exactly made you think you could run for two hours and then play hockey in the evening?  Feel like doing some synchronized swimming just to add a cherry on top?  You're an idiot.
My body reinforced the sarcastic inner-voice logic by forcing me to remember just how sore you can get after a game.  Ever wonder what muscles are used during hockey?


Running has prepared me for most of it, but the muscles that weren't ready, sure let me know it.  Primarily, the inner legs and groin muscles (that you use to push off) were almost debilitatingly sore.  My lower and outer back muscles were also smashed to bits.

On further reflection though, it occurs to me that this could be fantastic for my overall fitness.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized that playing hockey is like an hour and a half long core workout.

Now if I could only get my mojo back so the college kids will stop commenting on the "classical" nature of my equipment.

By Marcus with 2 comments

2 comments:

Getting older sucks. Luckily I'm thin, but I need to get my ass back into shape too. And brilliant call on axing Tyler Perry. Don't know how that twerp evaded my radar.

No problem brother, I'm here to help.

My advice on the "ass into shape" front? PIck a race, a charity that means something to you, and train.

You'll never be able to quit on a cause that you care about. A great forcing function . . .

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